Alive With The Glory Of Love
by elisenavidad
Summary: Lily and James enter their seventh year amidst a period of growing unrest. With a little help from their friends they struggle to come to grips with the war raging on outside castle walls and their growing feelings for each other. Read and review.
1. Dramamine

Travelling swallowing Dramamine  
Feeling spaced breathing out listerine  
I'd said what I'd said that I'd tell ya  
And that you'd killed the better part of me  
If you could just milk it for everything  
I've said what I'd said and you know what I mean

I am JK Rowling. I expect royalties from every other author on this site.

"Just open the bloody box." Kate it appeared had finally gotten fed up waiting for Emily to open the ancient shoebox. Though I didn't blame her, Emily had been peering at the thing with her big blues and shaking it about like a little kid on their first Christmas. I settled back into the cushy seat and absentmindedly tucked my wand behind my ear. Bloody red hair was getting in the way.

"This is a special moment guys, another summer gone, our final one…" Emily sighed as if ready to make another grand sweeping speech. Best not to let her get started on one of those. Her previous speech at the beginning of the summer had been halted only when Sam had unfortunately found herself on the floor of the compartment twitching and yelling inappropriate words. We'd never found the culprit to that jinx, it was blamed on a sympathetic passerby from the hall by Kate. Apparently they'd failed to notice Kate's maniacal giggling, but whatever works.

"Open it." Sam insisted, as she too was growing antsy. Really now, I didn't have all day either. But after spending six years with Emily I'd learned that the girl could not be rushed.

"But guys, this is important—"

"Em, you're acting like there's a wedding ring inside, just unwrap the box." I finally joined in the cajoling.

"Well you never know, the way things with Travis have been going…" Kate, Sam, and I snorted in disbelief. Travis was Emily's fling of the week, an American boy on holiday; his chances on making it past the three day mark were slim seeing as he didn't know Em was a witch. And also seeing as the telephone number she'd left him connected to an apparently well staffed gay-sex hotline...Despite her frown at our laughing she finally opened up the tattered old box. "Alright dolls, who wants to pick first?" She shook the shoebox along in her small pale wrist for all of us to see. The four of us peered inside to stare at the small folded scraps of paper.

The tradition had started first year on the train ride back. Kate and Emily and I had been discussing our hopes and expectations for the summer to come. And Kate had gotten the brilliant idea to write them down and then see what we'd done at the end of the summer on the return trip to Hogwarts. After our original container had been deemed too dirty (it was my old sock) after second year we upgraded. New first year and friend Sam had supplied us with a very dressy pink shoebox, and it had stuck with us for the next five years.

"Youngest first." Sam proclaimed, reaching a tanned hand (damn her) into the box and pulling out a slip of paper. She read it and immediately burst into a fit of giggles, sending her perfectly spiraled brown curls bouncing on her head. I envied her perfect hair, a problem that had lead to several daydreams of springing the curls, and which in a fight in third year had caused me to shave the whole thing off. That had actually been one of the few times I'd been glad for the marauders pranking, they'd taken the heat for that one not me. "Kate," Sam announced turning to my friend, "this ones yours," and in a poorly done impression she read the slip "I resolve to be married to Dean Winster."

"How you doing on that one?" Emily queried, sending Kate a raised eyebrow and a cheesy wink. Ah Dean Winster, quidditch player extraordinaire, and just generally man extraordinaire. Agreed to be the most attractive man in the twenty to thirty age range by oh, the entire female population.

"We're in an open relationship." Replied Kate with a straight face.

Always ready to burst her bubble I shot back, "So open in fact that Dean's dating that bint from Surrey and doesn't know she exists." Bazing.

"Give me that box." Kate snatched the box out of Sam's hand and rummaged through it. Most likely looking for a nice one about me to get me back. "Alright Lily, here's one of yours 'I resolve to streak at the annual Black family picnic'. Oh Lily, I really can't wait to hear how this one ended up."

One of the negative sides to sharing a courtyard with the notorious Black family was their yearly picnic. Actually to be fair there are no positive sides now that Sirius has his own flat. Every pure-blooded but brain-addled relative trumps out onto the grass behind their house for a day long celebration of intolerance and dark magic. Well, they referred to it as a celebration of their family unity. So each year I stayed inside my home in Priory Estates watching fearfully and praying that none of them are sane or cognitive enough to remember that "a mudblood traitor" lives up the street. Ah Grimmauld Place, a charming neighborhood. "Well, I nearly did it. It was about dusk day of and I got all starkers and crept over to the big pine tree near their lot."

"Wait! You, Lily Evans hopped around in public in your birthday suit?" Emily had the largest look of shock on her face, as if I'd just told her I supported You Know Who. Her blue eyes wide and blond hair flipping about as she did a double-take at me. "My baby's growing into a right young slut. I'm so proud of you. You'll be doinking Ja—"   
"Anyways," I cut back in, maybe a bit overly loud, but she was getting to my least favorite topic of discussion; Potter. "I got over there and saw Regelus taking a drag of his fag near the trash can. I got cold feet all of a sudden and I skedaddled. But I scraped my bum on a thorn," I winced at the memory, "I'm never venturing out naked again." I finished my tale and took the pink shoebox from Kate's lap. I searched through the papers accidentally knocking a few on the train floor.

"Err, Regelus, what a creeper." Kate remarked, picking at her fingernails and propping her feet up into Sam's lap on the seat across from her.

"God yeah, at least you don't have classes with him. Have you got any idea how chilling it is to be sitting in potions minding your own business and have his evil little stare directed at you." Somehow I highly doubted Sam was minding her own business in potions, as she was physically incapable of doing such a thing at any time.

"It's a shame he didn't turn out more like Sirius." I muttered under my breath. Sarcasm? Maybe. My relationship with Sirius was strained, because any relationship with friends of James Potter is strained. But also because I could never tell where we stood. Sometimes we were BFFs joking about old times, and other times we were screaming at each other like Potter and I do.

"Speaking of the devil, where are the marauders?" Kate was glancing at her watch, an ancient Mickey Mouse relic. "It's five till, the trains going to leave soon."

Squelch. I tried to respond to Kate's comment, and I think so did Emily. But the task was made insanely difficult as the four of us found that we, and our entire compartment were encased in green jello. In jello every movement sounds the same; squelch. Of course I should have known or moments of peace on the train would be short lived. The marauders had arrived, I could hear Sirius's cackling and Potter's howls of laughter as they peered into the compartment to admire their handiwork. The two raven haired madmen were back up to their usual tricks. I had a million zippy responses to Kate's question, but as I mentioned talking in Jello is difficult to do. Besides I was far too focused on becoming irrationally angry at Sirius and Potter. I had just about imagined what I would do when I got my hand about their mangy little necks when my savior gave me the chance. A pop, and the jello had disappeared, replaced by an exasperated and apologetic Remus Lupin. Thank Merlin for sane boys. But first to the insane boys.

"Sirius Orion Black and James Don't Remember Potter!" I was up and howling in an instant before the other girls could beat me to it. I bolted down the train corridor following the trail of their laughter. "When I find you two I will destroy you! A hundred points from Gryffindor! I'll have you expelled before we even reach Hogwarts!" Finding them wasn't difficult, the two boys and their lackluster sidekick had holed up in the nearest empty compartment. "What on earth were you two thinking pulling a stunt like that on the train! In front of all the first years too! This is our final year, you guys are supposed to be setting a good example!" I had taken steps towards them until I was yelling into both of their faces. Sirius was shaking his head to clear his shaggy black hair out of his gray eyes, clearly not paying attention to my lecture (he also clearly hadn't paid attention to my lecture last year on him getting a hair cut). Potter however, was surprisingly listening, his hazel eyes meeting mine steadily. Peter was cowering in the opposite corner.

"Well, see Evans we were thinking to brighten your day with the snack that gives back—"

"Rhetorical question Potter." I followed his eyes which were now stopped at about my shoulder, an improvement over my chest, but…There it was, there was a bit of jello still attached to my sweater. I flicked it off at him.

"Lily-flower, you know we were just—"

"Black you know what I threatened to do if you ever use that nickname again." He gulped and nodded silently, good, apparently he remembered our last discussion vividly. "I have half a mind to march the two of you down to the Head's Compartment and see what the new Head Boy has to say about this." I threatened. Potter and Sirius glanced at each other and shrugged.

"Go for it, sounds like a right good idea." Advised Sirius.

"By the way, congratulations on being made Head Girl." James replied, motioning to my badge. I'd been so excited when it had come in the mail, though I had to admit I wondered who Head Boy was now. I'd had my money on Remus but he hadn't been sporting the badge.

I was a bit miffed by their support, but maybe that was a sign of their new maturity. Doubtful. "Fine then. Off we go." And march we did, the three of us in an odd procession down the hall of the mahogany train. It's a tricky maneuver to pull off, marching through the crowded train, especially as the train was just pulling out of the station and all the ickle first years and stragglers were still trying to find compartments. After hustling and bustling past a dozen kids, directing at least five first years to the back of the train, and saying hello to all our old friends we made it to the front of the train and the Head's Compartment.

I opened the door and let out a gasp. My first time inside the Head's Compartment and it was far beyond my expectations. Decked out with two couches, a handful of cushy looking arm-chairs, a small card-table, and cabinets that seemed to be overflowing with sweets, it was definitely the hot-ticket within the train. Being obedient and respectful and attentive for six years was paying off, big time.

There was a throat clear and I turned around. Potter sent me a charming smile and ran a hand back through his messy black hair. "So, what do you think we should do with this troublemaker?" Potter asked, tapping the Head Boy badge now attached to his chest and glancing at Sirius.


	2. Bullet and a Target

But what you've done here  
Is put yourself between a bullet and a target  
And it won't be long before  
You're pulling yourself away

Not mine. Blah blah. Don't sue.

My first thoughts were that he had stolen it. I waited for his handsome face to break out into evil laughter and then reveal who was the actual Head Boy. But as he just silently stared back at me; it hit me Potter was Head Boy. Potter the marauder, Potter the troublemaker, Potter the bully was Head boy. It seemed crazy, but even as I was counting to ten to keep from yelling out, I could see Dumbledore's thinking. Potter was a good leader (as evidenced by Gryffindor's winning season under him as captain last year) and he was typically nice to the younger students (except the Slytherins). And then there was Dumbledore's crazy knack for giving second, or in this case thousandth, chances.

Sirius's snicker broke my chain of thoughts. He was scratching his stubble and looking between Potter and me as if Christmas had come early. Everyone knew Sirius was a fan of our infamous fights; often he provoked us into them just so he could get a front row seat.

"Sirius out." With a disappointed sigh he trudged out the door and slammed it shut. Merlin, this would be an interesting final year. I heaved myself onto the nearest armchair and started rubbing my temples in an overdramatic matter. I didn't really have a migraine but I felt the gesture helped to emphasize my exasperated mood.

"What? No yelling?" Potter sat down in the chair across from me and took his glasses off and cleaned them, pretending as if he didn't believe his eyes.

"Well, seeing as were going to be working side by side all year I thought it best not to start off with another silly argument. Besides I'm sure we'll be yelling about some other thing by the time the day is out." I explained my thoughts to him, and hopefully he would agree. Potter seemed to be seriously considering what I was saying.

"Fair enough. But you know, Lily, arguing is what we do best." I had to agree with him there, we'd had plenty of practice in our disagreements for the past six years. "I was thinking too, we should cut the surname crap, since we're partners and all. You know, start over?" He stuck out a hand to shake, "I'm James Potter."

Whatever works I guess. "Charmed. I'm Lily Evans."

"Lovely to meet you Lily," He exclaimed as he pumped my arm. "Now, do you suppose we should go call that Prefects meeting?" Oh God, I'd completely forgotten. What a way to start the year on a good foot. Already I was forgetting my responsibilities. If I couldn't even remember what to do on the first day…maybe Dumbledore had made the wrong choice with me…

"Of course."

"Well, that's a matter of opinion, yes, but if you look at the facts—"

"That's a load of crap! Facts aren't true, they're created. History and the facts are revised every day by the ministry! The truth is unknown, the masses know nothing."

The little side conversation between the two seventh year prefects from Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw wasn't the first interruption of the Prefects' meeting. Now, despite the fact that a Prefects' meeting implied order, respectfulness, responsibility, all that jazz associated with the moral leaders of our fine school, it was chaos. Give any kid even a smidgen of responsibility and their head would swell to a size to rival even James's ego. And well, the compartment on the Hogwarts Express just didn't have enough room for all that hot air.

First it had taken no less than ten minutes to get everyone quieted down, mainly Jan Tugwood, the newest Hufflepuff Prefect, who just had to tell everyone how her summer was. Then halfway through an attendance check it'd been discovered that Seth MacFarlane had decided not to attend. A search party found him in a dark compartment in the back of the train with a few female friends. Apparently Seth was attempting to take Sirius's place as Hogwarts Player. In the time it took to find Seth everyone managed to get rowdy again. After a brief and miraculously quiet argument James went ahead and silenced the lot of them before finally beginning the meeting. We'd gone over the rules and I was just finishing explaining the patrolling schedule when the boys argument had broken out.

"Lies! The ministry puts a smear campaign on those who threaten its power…" Gaspard Shingleton, the Ravenclaw prefect and conspiracy theorist, continued on in his anarchistic tirade. Joshua Jones, the lanky keeper for the Hufflepuff squad, stared at him dumbfounded, as if unsure whether to laugh or punch the kid. Of course, that was the typical response to any one of Gaspard's shocking claims. He'd earned the nickname Gassy a few years back for always blowing smoke out of his ass, and his stories and rumors always managed to incite. Sirius also liked to claim that Gassy's brown hair was proof that he had "shit for brains", at which point Peter would always glance at a loose strand of his own dark brown hair, and I would always wonder if my red hair made me a 'flaming idiot'. More frightening though were the nods and smirking smiles coming from the Slytherin Prefects, they seemed to like what they were hearing from Mr. Shingleton.

I glanced over at James and saw his cocked eyebrow and nearly pleading smile; with a sigh I nodded. Suddenly the room was silenced and all attention was back on James and I. "Anyways, as the lovely Ms. Evans was saying before she was so rudely interrupted; Lily, patrolling schedules."

With a glare I finished off his prompt, "Yes, you will receive patrolling schedules tomorrow morning with breakfast as well as class schedules." I took a deep breath and tried to relax. Public speaking had never really been my thing, but now it seemed that as Head Girl I would have to be getting better at it.

"Now finally the matter of increased security." James picked right up when I finished. I had to admit that we managed the whole working together pretty well. "Due to the incident in Dunhill last month Hogwarts and the surrounding area will be guarded by a team of aurors at all times."

"This shouldn't create any problems, so long as you don't go adventuring on the grounds after hours." Even as I was saying it I could picture in my head James throwing Remus an obnoxious wink. "The aurors have been instructed not to interfere with our activities so I ask that you do not interfere with their jobs. Ok, any questions or concerns from anyone?"

Gaspard immediately had his hand shot into the air, waving it around impatiently like a little child. Reluctantly James removed the silencing charm and nodded at him. "What if the aurors are planning their own attack on Hogwarts?" Even the Slytherins kind of boggled their eyes at that. I think everyone was wondering if maybe Gassy had gotten himself on the wrong sort of magic pills. James pulled off his glasses and gave them a cleaning as if he didn't believe what he was seeing.

"I'm not going to answer that on the grounds that it's completely ridiculous."

"Potter!" A quick kick to the shin shut him up good. No matter how crazy our peers might seem, making fun of them was unacceptable. "Look, if you're really concerned about that talk to Dumbledore, but that really isn't a topic to discuss here." That's the way its supposed to be done, effectively (and maybe a bit condescendingly) shut down, but not blatantly rude. Alexis Prewett, a sixth year from Gryffindor, sheepishly raised her small hand. Behind Remus's tall frame she was barely visible. "Ah, yes, Mrs. Prewett."

"Will we still be having trips to Hogsmeade this year?" No doubt she was looking forward to many dates with her now two year boyfriend Will Sheffield. At a Prefect meeting two years ago she had confided in me that the two of them would be getting married. At the time I had thought she was a bit 'touched', but now two years and still going strong, maybe…

"Yes, there will still be four trips this year. Of course, if safety does become a concern they may be cancelled, but for now they are on. Mr. Black, you have a question?" Regulus's pale hand had slipped into the air, the sleeve on his robes fell down revealing a tattoo that was becoming all too familiar. That had to have been intentional, he wanted everyone that he was now a member of _that_ club.

"Yes." Regulus paused to run a hand through short black hair. Different as they were Regulus seemed to inherit the same vanity about hair as Sirius. "Since when has Hogwarts allowed mudbloods into positions of authority?" He sneered and I felt his cold icy glare fixed upon me. I shivered and felt my fists clench involuntarily. Fighting is unprofessional, isn't it? I took a deep breath and started to open my mouth to respond, but James beat me to the punch.

"Lily Evans is the best witch in this school, she is talented and hard working, not to mention loads more respectable and decent than you. Why with your inbred family it's a shock you can even do magic. Until you can do even half the things Lily can I suggest you shut the hell up!" James was leaning over the table nearly spitting into Regulus's calm face. His face had gone noticeably red with anger and I noticed that his right hand was fiddling with the wand in his pocket, probably itching to hex Regulus into next week. Remus glanced up at me nervously and I think we were both thinking the same thing; James was going to lose his position as Head Boy before it even began for killing Regulus.

"I understand letting their kind in here to 'experience' the fruit of life, something they'll sadly never get to taste. But allowing such filth to be in power is disrespectful to the pure few who attend this school. Soon we'll be wanting to go out and share our magic with muggles." He spat out the last word with such venom. "If this is how Dumbledore intends to lead then perhaps he should be removed from his office." Deep breath, count to ten. And let it out. Fighting is unprofessional.

"You listen, you little, keep your sick ideas to your rotten group of friends." James took a deep shaky breath, clearly there was much more he wanted to say. I watched him clench and unclench his fists, before grabbing his wand. Time for this show to end, now. With another well aimed kick James was on the ground clutching at his ankle.

"We're done here. Everyone out now." At my command the whole room scattered. I noticed though as Barty Crouch Jr. went out the door he was whispering with Regulus and smiling. I wondered what Couch Sr. would think if he heard of this. I waited until nearly everyone had cleared out before rounding on James. "Get up." He clambered to his feet, holding his hands up to show he wasn't going to do anything. "What the hell do you think you were doing? Starting a fight with him over something so stupid! Are you out of your mind? Are you trying to get in trouble?" No more than an hour after our lets be friends talk and I was yelling at him again. But damnit if he weren't such a bigheaded git I wouldn't have to do it. Honestly, he nearly got into a fist fight with Regulus.

"I was trying to defend you! You heard what he called you! He can't say that!" James was up and yelling in my face. Ah, good to be back to our old habits.

"Don't defend me! You made me look weak, cutting me off! I can defend myself without your help! I don't need you to fight my battles!"

"I was trying to help!"

"Well don't! And you can't be getting into a fight! So he said something offensive. You have to learn to control your anger! You can't go about hexing whoever you please because they ticked you off!"

"You're getting on my case for controlling my anger? You're the one who started yelling at me! You're a hypocrite! You hold everyone to such high standard but don't live by them yourself!" James stepped back and took a deep breath, then proceeded to slam his head into the wall in frustration. I started pacing back and forth in circles, eyes closed, not wanting to have to look at him. I didn't even know where to begin with that. He was infuriating, he wasn't even listening to what I was saying, just attacking me at every turn. If he would just grow up…Some days I wanted to kill James Potter.

I opened my eyes to the throat clear that definitely did not come from James. Standing in the corner near the door was Remus, leaning against the wall looking bored. He scratched at his chin, then smiled when he had our attention. "Well if you've finished now I had something I wanted to say."


	3. Yellow CatRed Cat

I watch my yellow cat invade my red cat in the yard

I watch my yellow cat invade my red cat in the yard.  
The feline war has raged for years so I assume it'd be to hard  
for me to drive my foot between them. I would never risk the scratch  
just to prove to one or both of them a cat is just a cat.

Sorry for the delays, AP exams are a bitch. But, uh this one's a bit longer to make up for it. Read and review.

"You have the floor Remus." I instantly regretted it. It came out sounding all nasty, and I really wasn't angry at poor Remus. All my anger at the moment was reserved for James, and just generally the entire Slytherin House. But mostly James. I threw him another glare in case he'd forgotten in the last ten seconds that I was still mad at him.

Well, I wanted to give you the heads up. Amber and Masters have been saying that Radford wants a photo op with you two and Dumbledore for the Prophet. I guess I can see the angle, 'show a unified front against the Death Eaters' and all that, but really I think with the Dunhill attacks and the break-in in June his reputation is beyond saving."

Walden Radford was heading down a slippery slope. Just two years into his position as Minister of Magic and Radford seemed completely incompetent. Not that it was any less than expected, seeing as the last Minister, Nobby Leach, kicked the bucket after a rather nasty confrontation with a Niffler. During Leach's time in office his overly strict policies, like the enforced curfew and the shutdown of the Floo network, had created resentment toward the Ministry. Radford had promised a turnaround, but his lax rule hadn't had quite the desired affect. Pureblooded families were turning to the Death Eaters for security.

"Bloody brilliant. There's a war going on and instead of, you know, doing the normal thing and fighting it, he wants to pose for some pretty pictures. I mean, I know me and Lily can flash some winning smile, but do you really think that's going to intimidate old Moldy Voldy." James put on a high voice in what had to be the worst impression of the Death Eater Leader. "'Dear Lord, this picture, they're smiling and waving at me! Merlin, the teeth, they're so white, it's blinding me! I surrender! I throw in the bleeding towel; they just look too damn united in the picture!'"

Remus, who was struggling to keep from laughing, cut him off. "James, cool it. It's harmless, just a picture and an interview."

"Well, he has a point. It's a complete waste of time. This isn't exactly an issue that people are on the fence about. You either support the murdering of innocent muggles for the 'greater good' of the wizarding race or you've got a problem with it—"

"Yeah, it's not like you can be like 'well, I really like what he's doing for the economy..."

"Jesus the two of you are nearly worse than dealing with Ted and Tory." I felt a shiver run through me with the mention of Remus's younger siblings. The only thing they had in common with their older brother was the same light brown hair. The twin devils had just reached the horrifying age of three, where they could move faster than even I could, I still remembered the disastrous occasion that I'd been tricked into babysitting them. They'd somehow managed to tear the entire house apart in under twenty minutes, it'd taken several illegal stunning spells before I'd gotten the situation under control. Which by the way I'd never gotten a letter from the ministry about that…good old Radford. Never Again. Never.

James also seemed to recall the horrible duo, in an instant his wand was at Remus's throat, his handsome face devoid of any humor. "Take it back. Now."

"Righto. My bad. Note to self don't bring up the twins. You know I've got to go talk to Emily, she said she needed a bit of help on that Arithmancy summer assignment. I'll see you two at the feast." Remus started edging towards the door as he spoke, clearly a bit shocked by James reaction, though in all honesty when talking about his siblings it wasn't exactly an overreaction.

"Oh don't go Remus, just because James is being a prick, its no reason to leave." I shot a glare at James, who seemed to instantly transfer his anger from Remus to me. Well, it was his fault for getting all violent anyways.

"No, no. I'd better go." The change in mood didn't go unnoticed by Remus, his brown eyes darted back and forth from James and me as a small smile started to spread on his face. "You guys had probably best be getting started on those prefect schedules together anyways…" With that he backed out the door and scampered down the hall to find the compartment. I trudged over to the door, prefect schedules in hand and made my way back into the Head's Compartment. I collapsed onto the nearest armchair with a sigh, pleasantly surprised by just how comfy it was, and busied myself with the schedules.

"So I'm a prick, am I?" I'd nearly forgotten James was with me, but there he was sitting on the table, a dark scowl across his face. I looked back down at the schedules, and attempted to just ignore the comment. But somehow I could never seem to resist the opportunity for a fight with Potter.

"Yes, I thought we'd already established that ages ago. Do we need to go through all this again Potter?" Perhaps thinly veiled sarcasm wasn't the best way to approach the situation, but damnit if it wasn't the most fun. I watched in glee as his eyebrows furrowed together in that way they always did when he got mad.

"That's right. I'm an insufferable prick, a conceited arsehole, a jackass, a jerk, a twat, a bully, a bigheaded moron, a prat, a giant tool, an annoying bastard, a lazy son of a bitch, a temperamental idiot, an egomaniac, an arrogant berk, a douche bag—"

"A douche bag, I don't think I've used that one. What's it mean?" I cut off his spiel that had been growing louder and louder without even thinking. Had he come up with an insult that I hadn't thrown at him already?

"Err, nothing. I mean…God" I seemed to have messed up his argument with my interruption. He stuttered and ran a hand through his already messy black hair in that irritating manner of his. He took a deep breath and started over in a much calmer manner. "I mean damnit I kind of thought we'd be past petty insults at this point. I know we don't get along. I know that for some reason you think I'm insufferable. But…I'd have hoped by now you'd have realized that I'm not a jackass or an arsehole. At least not anymore that is." He waited for me to respond, but when confronted by silence carried on. "I thought we said we were going to start over, but here we are making all the same mistakes as we always do. If you're not willing to give me a second chance then were never going to get along." He shook his head with a disappointed look and walked out the door.

"Wait, where are you going?" He didn't respond.

……………………………

"Wow Lily, I mean no offense, but this is the worst photograph I've ever seen of you." I set down my orange juice and leaned over to take a glance at the Daily Prophet in Kate's hands. There on the front page under the headline of 'Minister of Magic Shares Wisdom with Head Students' was the photo of the minister Dumbledore, James, and I. I had to agree with Kate, I was waving in the picture, a strained and highly faked smile upon my face, clearly uncomfortable with the fact that James had decided to place an amicable arm around my shoulder. To be fair James and Radford didn't look too hot either, James was barely concealing the disgusted look upon his face as he stood next to Radford who despite his obnoxiously large smile and egregious wave still looked like a nervous old man. Only Dumbledore looked to be his normal serene self.

"Ooh, let me see." Sam snatched the paper out of Kate's hands and examined the picture with interest. "Good lord, that is awful." She remarked as she leaned in more getting a closer look at my face. "I mean Lily I could have loaned you some makeup to reapply before this was taken…" And if that wasn't just the most perfect way to start the first day of class I didn't know what was. Oversleeping and still waking up so exhausted that it'd had taken a painfully cold shower just to even begin to wake up. Then there had been the daily ordeal of attempting to tame my unruly fiery devil spawned red hair. I couldn't find a sock. And bugger me I'd somehow managed to spill orange juice on my robed, which by the way went splendidly with the aforementioned bright red hair. The only joy I had came from the knowledge that James was still asleep, he'd been out cold when I'd came down for breakfast.

"Well, I think she looks beautiful regardless." Apparently he was not still asleep; James eased himself into the seat across from me and attempted to give off a charming smile, but failed miserably. He looked like his morning was going rougher than mine. A shadow of dark hair indicated that he'd yet to shave. He still had a bad case of bed head, his jet-black hair was completely sticking up on one side of his head and the other side was wildly messed up. His glasses were askew, his eyes bloodshot and his face drained of any color. He'd clearly just woken up only minutes ago. So I felt a teensy bit bad about leaving without waking him. But, far from apologizing for that I just took another bite of oatmeal and rolled my eyes.

The long night had put me into a rather foul mood. And from the looks of it James wasn't much better off. We'd been whisked off the train the night before and taken straight to Dumbledore's office for a three hour meeting on safety and security. It had started out with the general guidelines, responsibility, honesty etc, and segued into what I could only assume were allusions to the mounting anti Death Eater movement. The whole speech had been peppered with the theme of constant vigilance. Safety was of the utmost importance and so on, but really I didn't see how safety was such a big concern at Hogwarts; we had Dumbledore. After the meeting we'd been rushed to the kitchens for a hurried dinner (the feast and the sorting had already ended). Then it was back out for an hour of patrolling, before finally finding our way to the Head Dormitories.

"Whats this Peter?" Remus looked at Peter inquisitively as a school owl dropped a rather bulky newspaper into his lap before flying off. Peter grinned as he took the tie off the front and spread the paper out on the table.

"The London Examiner." He replied proudly.

"That's a muggle newspaper." Kate remarked, I looked closer and sure enough the photographs weren't moving. What on earth was Peter doing with a muggle paper?  
"What gives Petey, since when do you read muggle papers?" James leaned over Peter's shoulder to get a better look at the foreign paper.

"Since when can you read?" Sirius asked with a smirk.

"Since this summer. You know what a fool I looked like in front of all the girls when they realized I didn't know the first thing about England?"

"Hey wait, yeah. Peter you've still got to tell us that birds and bees story you wouldn't say on the train" Emily insisted, and suddenly my ears perked up. Peter's stories were amazing, Emily and I always thought he should be an author. No matter how fabricated they might be, Peter always told the most entertaining stories.

"How'd you look like that big of an idiot Pete? You can't tell me you didn't know anything." Sirius seemed unconvinced that Peter's lack of knowledge could keep him from picking up ladies. And I had to side with Sirius, he wasn't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed, yet he still managed to have all the girls in Hogwarts swooning over him.

"Yeah, whats it matter? Besides, how could you not know like the basics?" James interjected through a mouthful of toast, sad that even with his mouth full we could all still understand him.

"I'll get to that Emily. And because it just does make a difference if you meet more intelligent women, they want to discuss intelligent things." Peter smirked with his shot at Sirius, and his sometimes less than stellar choices in girls. Madison Reynolds in fourth year…dreadful. "And James, you don't know at thing either I bet. Who is the prime minister?"

James's cocky demeanor evaporated immediately. "Err…Churchill?" I winced at his answer. Ok, Peter definitely had a point. There was no way these boys could go off and live in the world next year if they couldn't even name the current prime minister. Really now, Churchill had been out of office for more than twenty years.

"Wrong. It's James Callaghan. See what I mean? We don't know squat." Peter folded the paper up for a moment to look at James seriously, a feat that was difficult to do seeing as James had to be nearly six inches taller and looked several years older than Peter. "Even five year olds in London know who their prime minister is." James seemed suitably embarrasses, though it was clear from the sheepish looks being passed between the others that he wasn't the only uninformed one. Kate (the only other muggle born) and I looked at each other in horror.

"Uh oh. Hey when you've finished reading that, maybe could I borrow it, to do some studying on?" Everyone turned to look at Sirius with eyes wide in shock. Sirius Black asking for something to read. Impossible. "What? I don't want to lose any ground with the ladies. And now I've got that new flat in Suffex…" Sirius trailed off, attempting to explain his decision and Peter beamed a glow seemed to come off his already tan skin.

"Ok, now for the birds and the bees story." Everyone settled in, ready for a good story as Peter began. "You know I went to Seville this summer for holiday with my dad. Lovely place, beautiful city, beautiful ports, beautiful women. And so easy too. Err, well not loose per say, they were just easily charmed by my lovely British accent." At first glance most people would dismiss Peter as having absolutely no talent whatsoever with women. But he had this certain charm to him, he wasn't intimidating, he could smooth talk without being inappropriate (like Sirius) or just showering the girl in compliments (like James), and he was cute in a little boy sort of way. "Anyways, my very first night in town, I go out to enjoy a bit of the night life in Seville. I'm not much of a dancer so I went over to the theater to go see if there were any girls at the pictures. I didn't even get there when I had this girl begging me to take her back to my place. I didn't even say a word to her and she was all over me. Exclaiming how handsome I was, how much she wanted to…uh wanted to get to know me better. So I took her back to the hotel and before we're even inside the room she's on me. Immediately though she's asking to use the toilet. So I let her go, and I wait. And I wait, and wait. She never comes back. After about ten minutes I go and check the bathroom, she's gone; in fact she's left the hotel entirely, and with her had gone a hundred of my money. That was the first time I've ever paid for sex, literally. Anyways, that managed to scare me from trying to pick up any more women for a couple weeks. That bit of the trip was boring, unless you're really dying to hear about the giant bass I caught." Everyone shook their heads. "No? Didn't think so. Ok, so two weeks later, is when the fun begins. I decided to go try out the clubs. And Merlin I may be an awful dancer, but those girls more than made up for me with how well they could dance. I had this one girl and, it was way too easy. All I told her was tu eres tan bella como el mes and she was all ready to get to it."

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"It means you're as beautiful as the sea, Sirius. Anyways I learned from my mistake from last time so I refused to take her back to my place. We ended up on a picnic table in a park, it was so dark out I could barely even see her. We were just getting to the good part, when bzzzzz!" Peter buzzed and traced a curvy line with his finger. "A fucking bee. Now she's freaking out and has the brilliant idea to try and slap it away with her handbag. Which worked just great, cause then it got ticked off. Next thing I know I'm in the grass in the fetal position screaming in pain. The bloody thing got me in the balls." Everyone at the table, including the crowd that had gathered around to hear Peter's tale busted into laughter. I couldn't help myself, I could just picture the scene in my head. James fell out of his seat and Emily looked about ready to start crying.

"No." Remus glanced down at his own groin with shock and a grimace on his face.

"Yes. At that point the girl decided to just run off and leave me dying in the fucking park. Some bum finally comes over and helps walk me over to an urgent care facility. I spent the next week indoors with a bag of ice over my bollocks."

"Wouldn't that cause some like serious shrinkage? Like if they're cold long enough they never drop back down?" Emily looked around the table noticing the dumbfounded looks of her peers. I had no idea what she was going on about. "What? It's true. Bryce told me that my hands were too cold and it could have a permanent damage…" Bryce, who the heck was Bryce? I knew Emily's list of 'acquaintances' was a long one but for the life of me I couldn't remember a Bryce.

Sirius laughed as Emily trailed off realizing how big of a fool she looked. With a chuckle Sirius explained. "Methinks he just wanted your warm mouth on them." He ran a hand over his smooth chin with a smirk on his face. "Props to the kid I wouldn't even have thought of that trick…"

I looked at Kate sitting next to me with an eyebrow raised, who was Bryce. And then somehow we both remembered at the same moment. "Bryce!? The boy from fourth year?"

Sirius continued on in his monologue failing to notice that no one was listening to him. Though to be honest he'd probably have kept on talking even if he knew. "…though really I've never needed to trick a girl to do favors for me. They've always been perfectly willing to participate in any exercises…" Lord the boy just loved the sound of his own voice.

Kate and mine's discovery seemed to snap Sam into action. "You did that in fourth year? I mean even I made it to—" Her exclamation was cut short as Emily clamped a hand over her mouth and stifled her screams.

"…now for me I think it's because of the charm. I have a certain way of making girls feel special, needed…" Sirius continued to speak to no one in particular.

"Stuff it Sirius, no one cares. Shouldn't we be heading to class soon?" Remus finally got fed up with Sirius's spiel. And thank goodness because without his intervention Sirius probably would have kept talking to his death. At least one person had common sense.

"Yeah. Right now actually." The voice came from above. I looked up to see Preston Mills standing behind me, waiting at Sam's side. The sixth year Hufflepuff was practically Sam's servant (though he looked young enough to be a little brother), waiting at her beck and call, walking her to her classes, carrying her books, etc, etc. They'd been friends since being paired together in potions in third year; they'd managed to melt through not one, but two cauldrons in their first day together.

"Already? Time flies when you're having fun." Sam stood up and dumped her notes into Preston's arms. She turned around and then proceeded to grab Sirius by the tie and pull him across the table to plant a kiss on his lips before running off to class with Preston. I blanked, my brain shut down.

Several minutes later when my brain had started working again I realized that I was near alone at the Gryffindor table. I looked over at my only companion, hoping to see some sign of recognition in the eye's of Sirius's best friend. But no, James was sitting there, still bug-eyed in shock with his mouth hanging open, looking about ready to catch some flies.

"James. James!" He seemed to come out of his stupor at my last yell.

"Did you, did you see that too?" He looked around seeing for the first time that everyone else had left. "And where did everyone go?"

Before I had a chance to answer the bell rang throughout the school, signifying the start of first period. "I saw it. I don't believe it. And I believe they went to class, where we should probably be right now." A great way to start the year, Head Boy and Girl are late to their first class.


	4. Spiralling

But every time  I reach for you,  you slip through my fingers

 Into cold sunlight, laughing at the things  that

I had planned, the map of my world gets

Smaller as I sit here, pulling at the loose threads now

……………………

"Well I can understand you not knowing, it was a pretty well kept secret—"

"Unlike that deal between Gassy and Dana, can you believe that girl? No one in their right mind…"

"Maybe he slipped her some love potion." At that both Amber Meadows and Rachel Masters looked across the dungeon where Mr. Shingleton was struggling to extinguish the fire that had just erupted from his cauldron. "On second thought, probably not." I'd been sitting in potions, killing time waiting for class to end, doing some digging on the whole Sam and Sirius situation from Hogwart's two biggest gossip hounds. However they were both easily distracted.

"Seriously now, what do you know?" The hourglass on Professor Slughorns desk was running down, and I wasn't exactly curious enough to continue on this conversation outside of class. Amber and Masters were my friends, but more out of convenience, than any common interests. I gave them tips in potions (the only reason they'd been able to advance to NEWT level) and they gave me gossip, and a way to kill time in my now lonely potions class (everyone in Gryffindor besides me James and Sirius had dropped, and I wasn't that desperate for company yet).

"Oh yeah… well it sounds like she ran into him in London over break and basically seduced him. Not that its hard to seduce Sirius Black, I swear, he'd sleep with a dog if he could." As she spoke she shot lasers out her brown eyes over to the desk at which Potter and Sirius were stirring their potion and grinning in a way that probably meant danger to the rest of the students in the class. It seemed Amber was perhaps still a bit bitter about her and Sirius's short-lived fling last fall.

"Well, they've made it, what, like a month and a half now? That must be some sort of record for Sirius… and Sam too if you think about it." Master's twisted a hand through her platinum blond hair, looking into her cauldron as if deep in thought, it was a thoroughly unsettling look on her.

"Ok class, lets add any last finishing touches and then if you would please be so kind as to decant your mandrake draught into the vials and then bring them to my desk for evaluation." Slughorn finally emerged from his office, after doing god knows what in there for the last ten minutes (probably napping). "Oh, no Skively, not like that, you want to pour it slowly with a clockwise rotation. Weren't you here the day I discussed this?" Slughorn rushed his portly frame over to the poor student, whose vial was now emitting a strange orange gas.

I took my potion, which I'd finished and decanted ages ago to the front of the classroom and left it on the desk, where I noticed a slightly discolored vial sitting in the corner. Thinking nothing of it I returned to my table to pack up my books and slip out of class, hopefully avoiding another awkward invitation to a Slug Club party. Horace (yes, he insisted on first name) collected students like Sirius collected ex's. He'd approached me just the last class insisting I come to a little "informal soiree" he was hosting next Thursday evening. Potter had watched the uncomfortable exchange from the corner of the room, snickering, until I sent a hex his way. Coming up with an excuse to get out of the part was still on my to do list. I was about to make my escape when a loud popping noise came from the desk and a gold colored gas flowed out of the vial I'd noticed earlier. The gas snaked it way out slowly spelling out its message "Professor Horace Slughorn CPM, would like to cordially invite you to a gathering of talented students next Thursday evening at 7pm in the back dungeon. Beverages and snacks will be provided." Slughorn stared at his desk and the gaseous display hovering above it, a mortified expression on his round face; his secret party had been exposed to the ignorant masses. I watched from the doorway, as rather than call Potter and Sirius (who were the obvious culprits) forward to punish them, he turned to the class and announced, "Ha, yes, that's this Thursday, a week and two days from now. So please everyone come ready to socialize with your peers." Good old Sluggy, anything to save face with his prized possessions. As he spoke the message dissipated, spreading out into the air of the classroom. The class looked around sheepishly, it seemed the lure of food and drinks (Slughorn was notorious for 'accidentally' leaving out alcoholic beverages for students to partake) might be enough to draw them into going.

"Admit it, it was a nice presentation. Personally I felt the gold really popped against the dark dungeon background. And the font, well that was difficult to decide upon…" Potter caught up to me in the corridor, slinging his pack over his broad shoulders. And I'd been so hopeful that I'd be able to escape him for just a few hours.

"Mmhmm, well I think you made the right decision on the font, it seemed very Sluggish." We'd been getting along better than usual the last three days since we'd been forced to move in together in the Heads Dorm, which meant that instead of our usual ten explosive fights a day we'd gone down to one. This morning's argument had been about who had dibs on the cushy couch in the common room. James had foolishly tried to assert that it was his turn at the couch, which had somehow devolved into a fight about Potter being an self centered pussymongerer and me being an insensitive cuntwaffle (while our arguments always seemed to end on the same point we kept finding new and creative ways to insult each other), needless to say I was not exactly thrilled to see him. "Tell me, why did you feel the need to invite the class to the Slug Club party? Was it just a whim? Or did you feel that everyone in our class deserves the torture?" I stopped at the staircase, waiting for it to rotate to the right place, then taking off at a decidedly quick pace. I might have been trying to lose my tail.

"Well I was thinking, if it was more public, than you could drag along Kate or Emily and it wouldn't be as miserable. I know you hate those things. Merlin knows everyone does." He paused to wrench his foot out of the jinxed step. "I mean, who wouldn't enjoy three hours of being stuck in a room with the most pretentious kids in this dump."

"I'm literally counting down the days." I replied dryly.

"And since you don't have a built in excuse like Quidditch practice…"

"I have very important meetings to attend—

"Oh right, what was the one you made up last year? The Centaur Protection Front? Don't think that exists Lily, but good try."

"The Centaurs need protection!"

"Right, and so do giants, those poor suckers keep getting stepped on by blokes bigger than them. Anyways, I thought I'd do something nice, to make up for this morning." I stopped as we arrived in the great hall, taking a moment to watch the chaotic rush of students.

"I'm going to do something that will surprise you—

"Well gee, I hadn't even asked yet Lils, but yes I'd love to go to Hogsmeade with you next weekend!"

"Thin ice, Potter." I said in a cold voice, James had the decency to at least look thoroughly reproached. "I was going to say thanks, but now I've decided against it. Clearly it would only go to your head, which from the looks of it doesn't need any more swelling."

"Low blow Evans, you know my heads only so big because of my abnormally large brain!" He called from across the great hall as we went our separate paths.

……………………………

The flames danced around my fingertips, illuminating my hands in an orange glow. Kate watched with a concerned expression as I giggled while attempting to pinch and grab the individual flames. I'd been playing with the fire for the last ten minutes, ever since we finished the flame-freezing spell. I'd been feeling better and better as the day progressed, one could say I was approaching euphoric. I knew I should have been copying the notes Flitwick left on the board, but I couldn't bring myself to do it, the fire was just too…entrancing…

"Lily," Kate finally grabbed my arm to keep me from my pursuit of grabbing fire, "are you ok? Because you're acting like—

"You're blazed or something." Emily cut in with a grin on her face. "Ha, get it? Blazed, fire. Get it?" Her face fell as she realized that no one was laughing along with her joke. People rarely did with Emily, it was usually more of a laughing at her than laughing with her thing. "You guys suck." She went into a pout and buried her head in her arms on the table, looking more like a disgruntled toddler than the eighteen-year-old winner of the Royden Poke Mrs. Teen Wizard contest. To be fair she hadn't entered herself in that contest, that had been the handiwork of Kate and Sirius. But when the letter with the results had come in, including the news that she'd be featured on the cover of Mens Magic Magazine, came in the post last year, well we couldn't resist giving her crap for it.

"That was a good one Em. I thought it was funny."

"No you didn't Remus, if you encourage her she'll only continue with these horrible puns." Ah Kate, always the protector of people's feelings, she was so sensitive about other's needs. I knew there was a reason she was my best friend. "Really though Lily, you've been out of it all class. I mean you couldn't even do the flame-freezing charm by yourself and you've been able to do that by yourself. Is there something you need to inform us of?"

"She's high."

"…As a kite."

"No guys, she's pregnant!"

"Whose the father?"

"Some muggle bloke from this summer?"

"No way. It's gotta be James."

"Potter?"

"What other James do you know?"

"I don't know, but maybe Lily knows another James…Besides she wouldn't."

"Well they are living together now…"

"Not everyone who lives together sleeps together. We've lived together for six years and we've not slept together. By your logic our whole dorm would have had an orgy the first week of first year."

"Gah, that's not what I meant, and you know it."

I chose to ignore the fight between Kate and Emily, instead focusing on the pretty pretty flames. How did they get so orange? What if fire was green? That would be so cool. But then how could you tell if grass is on fire? Maybe orange was the right color for fire. It looks like it would be tasty…

"Girls, you know I hate to break up your little catfight, but I think something is really wrong with Lily." Remus who'd been listening to the conversation while jotting down the assignment from the board finally cut them off. "She didn't even flinch when you mentioned her sleeping with James."

"Hmm, yeah that is slightly problematic. Usually Emily and I would be begging for our lives by now. " I knew there was a reason I was supposed to be angry with this Potter fellow, and maybe his friend Sirius, but for the life of me I couldn't seem to remember what it was. And I didn't care; I was far too fascinated by the air around me. It seemed much more energetic than usual, if air can have energy. Like there were a million tiny fairies buzzing around, just creating all this electricity. Speaking of electricity, who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?

"She's gone bonkers, probably from—" But Emily was interrupted from her theorizing by the bell. Remus and Kate started packing up their books and quills while Emily peered at me like a scientist examining a new species of insect.

"I've no idea what you guys are talking about, I'm perfectly," I attempted to stand up and gather my things, but instead toppled over backwards off my seat landing in a heap on the floor, "I'm not ok."

"Jesus Lily, what's happened to you?"

The fall seemed to knock some of my senses back into me. "Black, and Potter. I think they, I think they might have done some sort of an intoxication incantation last period." I managed to squeeze out the information between bouts of giggles.

"And your not mad?" Remus seemed incredulous.

"How can I be mad when I feel so good?"

Kate turned to Emily and whispered fearfully "She's going to murder them when she comes down from this."

"I do not want to witness that carnage."

…………………………………..

"Good afternoon Ms. Evans. How has your day been? Enjoyable I hope. Perhaps even splendid?" He slid into the seat next to me, clearly amused with himself, a wicked smile reaching all the way up to his blue eyes. Well, if there was any doubt left, that erased it.

"Marvelous." I replied, which was true, ever since potions class my mood had been good. No, my mood had been bizarrely good. As Kate had said , I was 'creepy happy' of course that had been after I'd described lunch with Sirius and Sam ,who spent the whole time cooing at eachother, as 'highly enjoyable'. "However, when this wears off, there will be hell to pay. Hell." I tried to sound threatening, I really did, but it was difficult to do with the giant smile that seemed plastered to my face.

"That's assuming it wears off." Sirius mumbled through a mouthful of bread pudding. At which point Sam turned to him to reprimand him for talking with his mouth full of food and ask what the hell it was that was wearing off of me.

"It has to wear off, she was crawling on the floor being a tiger during History of Magic." Kate came to my defense, kicking Sirius in the shins, causing him to spit out the bread pudding, and earning her a glare from Sam.

"You were doing it with me!"

"Well yeah. Only to keep you company, Binns wasn't looking, I couldn't let you look like a fool…" Kate retreated into her food a blush creeping up her pale cheeks.

"A tiger? Can we get a reenactment of that? Like was there purring involved? Grooming? Perhaps some tiger mating?" Peter's eyes glazed over in what I could only imagine was a horrifying fantasy.

"You guys are being ridiculous, I need to go do patrols with Seth." I started to stand up but I felt hands on both sides pushing me back into my chair. Remus looked at me like I was crazy.

"Oh no, no, no. You're not doing patrols. I'll get someone to fill in for you Lils, but clearly you're not in any shape to being doing patrols right now."

"Especially not with Seth. Ew." Emily shuddered, receiving a raised eyebrow from Kate, Sam and I, it was a little known secret that she'd hooked up with him last year, multiple times.

"Goddamnit Black, Potter, you guys have made me useless today, I can't even do my homework now!"

"That would sound a lot more threatening without the joyous voice."

"Nah, you can tell she's mad cause she called you Black. Usually she reserves last names for me."

I left the dining hall, hoping to get a few hours of shuteye while the incantation wore off before getting to work on all the papers I had to write. I'd probably be up till 5am, excellent. I slipped down the corridor to the Heads Quarters and stopped in front of the statue of Ethelred the Ever Ready, "Leaping Lions." Ethelred raised his wand then spun causing the wall behind him to slide open. I passed into the common room, pausing to glance at a piece of paper pinned to the wall.

'Mudbloods Don't Belong In The Prophet Nor In These Halls'

…………………….

thank you please read and review


	5. Tangled Up In Plaid

A self-inflicted wound, your Gift,

Impeccable aim

Can really clear a room

All the bodies piled up in your way

………………………….

The snow blanketed the peaks, fresh undisturbed powder covering the whole slope, glittering in the sun. A cool breeze passed by as I gazed down the slope picking my line. It looked… "Merlin!"…That's not the sound the wind usually makes…Nor were the loud thumping steps coming nearer. Finally a banging noise broke me out of my slumber.

"What?" I snapped, coming to realize finally that it was Potter now banging on my bedroom door. Curious that he was able to make it up the stairs to my room, I guess they didn't slide like back at the Gryffindor dormitory.

"Lily, are you ok?" He asked, pressing open the door and entering my room, my mind spun for a second, wondering if there were any embarrassing items left out, but I reminded myself it was just James.

"I'm feeling 100 percent. No thanks to you." I snapped as I rolled over and sat up in my bed. My green and gold covers were tangled in a heap, apparently it had not been a peaceful nap, then again I usually tossed and turned and moved about as I slept.

"Did you see?" I softened when I saw the concern on his face, in his hand was the note.

"Yeah." I rubbed the sleep out of my green eyes; I was tired, and quite frankly in a foul mood (seemed the incantation had some nasty after effects), I in no way felt like dealing with this.

"Yeah? Yeah? This is a serious threat, and your response is 'yeah'?!?" Maybe it was my imagination but I was sure I could see a vein nearly popping out on his forehead. He started pacing in circles around the room, running his hand through his stupid jet-black hair. "This isn't a joke! That's a dark mark in the corner there!" He gestured wildly at the scrap of paper. "I can't believe you of all people would just ignore this." Ah Potter, whenever he got all yelly he would always start waving his hands around like a nutcase.

"Dear Lord, will you please decide whether you want to be concerned or angry? I already have a headache!" I slid out of bed, slinking over to my dresser to rummage through it for a pair of sweatpants.

"I…uh…" Potter froze, mouth agape like a perfect flycatcher. I looked down the discover that the baggy t-shirt and boyshorts were not exactly appropriate, feeling a blush rise to my face I quickly stuffed myself into some sweats. "I'm sorry." He sat down at the edge of my bed. "I didn't mean to overreact. But, this is, well, its not good. Look, I'm going to get Dumbledore and have him take a look at this. Do you think you'll be ok here alone for a few minutes?"

"Potter I was here alone and asleep for a half hour. I think I'll be ok." I didn't expect him to take this so seriously, I'd been getting the whole mudblood routine since I found out I was a witch seven years ago. I didn't see how it was any different this time around.

"Ok. And I thought we were going to first names." He stopped at the doorway and looked back one more time.

"I'll be fine, James."

I could hear him yell from the stairwell, "I'll be right back."

Ten minutes later and Potter, I mean James had returned, the headmaster in tow, a grave expression on his face. I was waiting for them on the couch in the common room. Dumbledore stepped in, examining the décor, and for a brief moment the hint of a smile passed upon his face, but then his eyes fell upon the note, which was sitting on the coffee table.

"Miss Evans, I had hoped it wouldn't come to this. I always like to believe that the students of Hogwarts can see past such inconsequential differences as these, but alas it seems some can not be ridded of their prejudices." He eased himself into the chair across the table, and called to James who'd been hovering near the doorway, "Mr. Potter, if you could please join us, the information I'd like to discuss has much relevance to you as well."

James nodded and mumbled something along the lines of 'yes' then scurried over to join me on the couch.

"Thank you." He paused to wipe off his half-moon glasses. "Now, I trust that you will use good judgment on who you share the information I am about to tell you with."

"Of course." James and I responded in unison.

"After recent events, I think it's important that you are fully informed.

"Excuse me, Professor, but recent events?" Clearly there was something I was missing here, Potter seemed far more upset by the note that he had any right to. Both Dumbledore and James stared at me with questioning looks. "I didn't get a chance to read the prophet this morning, and I've had an…unusual day."

"There was an attack last night, Aiden and Idris Kiely were killed last night."

A jolt went through me, the Kielys' were a famous wizarding couple, both born muggles and very rich, they provided money to help muggle born wizards get through schooling and into the workforce. Their deaths was a huge blow to the wizarding community, heck to all of England. "That's not all Lily, there was a message left with their bodies: 'Mudbloods Beware; The Cleansing Has Begun.'" My heart skipped a beat, the war had always felt so distant, like I wasn't apart of it, but now it had come to my front steps.

"Yes, what Mr. Potter says is true. Which is why I have decided to do this, against my better judgment." He paused. "There is a group, a secret group dedicated to fighting off Voldemort's forces: The Order of the Phoenix. Loyal witches and wizards who are willing and able to fight and protect those who can not protect themselves. I hadn't wanted to involve students, but it appears Hogwarts is no longer neutral ground."

"Professor, anything, anything we can do to help, we'll do it."

"That's exactly the attitude your parents had

James, they'd be so proud to hear you now." Dumbledore said with a smile that turned melancholy. For the first time he seemed more like a tired old man than the quirky headmaster always cool and collected. "Understand that this is highly dangerous, we've lost many a great witch and wizard. "

James looked down at his feet, clearly thinking about his mom and dad. I spoke up, trying to break the gloomy mood that had set over the room. "Professor, how can we help?"

"There's a meeting in September that I'd like you to attend, I can answer more questions then. In the meantime I ask that you be watchful at all times." He stood up, brushing a bit of dust of his mahogany robes. "I must be leaving you now, there's another situation that needs my attention; I'm afraid some of the elves got in to the liquor closet."

I was laying on the ground in front of the fireplace, schoolbooks and parchment spread around me in a disorganized fashion. I was too tired to stand up and drag myself upstairs to pass out in my bed. How could there possibly be this much homework the first week of school? 14 inches on the proper handling of the Quincellus Fern for herbology? Absolutely unnecessary. But finally after nearly four hours I'd finished my work for the week. I was pretty sure the sun would be coming up soon and then I'd have to go to class, so walking al the way up to my bedroom was just inefficient. I could barely hear the faint whispers of James and Remus's hushed conversation across the common room.

"…said he can't come."

"That's ridiculous, it's a tradition, he can't abandon you." Potter was struggling to keep the anger out of his voice.

"It's fine, we can do it with just you me and Peter. It's not a big deal." Remus just sounded tired, he'd been looking under the weather all week.

"I'm not gonna let this just pass."

"You know, you guys don't have to whisper." I announced from my place in front of the fire, the whispers were starting to annoy me, better they just speak in normal voices.

"Well its just that this is private…"

"Oh cram it James, I know you guys are making plans for Rem's little furry time of the month." I'd figured it out the middle of fourth year; his great aunt always getting sick around the full moon, it seemed suspect. Remus had been horrified when I'd confronted him, afraid I'd spill his secret to all of Hogwarts. I didn't even understand what he was so upset about until he explained that in the wizarding world there was a bit of a stigma against werewolf. The whole transforming into a beast thing was apparently a turn off for most the population.

"You always lecture us every time we talk about it Lily." While I might have reacted well to the discovery that Remus was a werewolf, the same could not be said for the discovery that his three boneheaded friends had become illegal animagi.

"I'm exhausted, and after this week I'm feeling all lectured out. I'm not going to yell at you." James and Remus stared at me, and maybe it was just because I was exhausted and drugged earlier in the day, but I could have sworn their eyes popped out of their heads like cartoon characters. "Hey now, I don't always lecture."

"…"

"Oh shove off, I'm not that much of a rule lover. "

"Whatever you say darling." If I hadn't been so tired I would have hexed him for that. "Anyways, fine, if your ok with it, I'm ok with it. I'm just going to have a talk with Padfoot about his little situation as of late."

"If you really think that's necessary."

"I'll handle it. Also, tomorrow, we need to get everyone together here to discuss some new developments."

"Everyone? And it's something we can't discuss at dinner tomorrow?" Remus's curiosity was piqued.

"No. Well Peter and Sirius. Lily, I know you'll want Kate, Emily and Sam too?"

"Nngh." I was way too exhausted, it was taking all my energy just to follow their conversation, I couldn't think.

"Oh shit. Here lets get you up to bed." James knelt down and scooped me up in a surprisingly smooth motion, I was even too tired to fuss that Potter was carrying me upstairs to my bed. "Mmm." He stifled a yawn. "I guess I'm pretty exhausted myself. Remus. can you grab her things. We can figure everything out in the morning."

"It is morning." Ok, apparently I had just enough energy to make a smartass remark. I cracked my eyes open for a second to see his bright blue eyes, the last sight I saw before falling into a deep slumber.

………………..

"Look, can we hurry this up? I've got things to be doing." Peter pointed at his watch, tapping his foot impatiently. His foot however was right next to Sirius, who was perched on the floor near the couch, and the tapping did not please Sirius who swatted at Peter's shin.

"What is _this_ exactly?" Kate was sitting next to Peter on the couch and it seemed his impatience was rubbing off on her. Emily, who was sitting on the other side of Kate, was the only one exhibiting any sort of patience, but that was probably because she was distracted, furiously jotting something down in a notebook.

"If you guys could wait just one more second, were waiting on Remus." We'd gathered the group, well the group minus Sam, who I'd decided did not need to be here. It had nothing at all to do with the fact that she'd been annoying me as of late, and everything to do with the fact that she was still underage. Anyways, it'd been no easy task herding everyone (minus Sam) up to the Heads common room at the same time for a 'discussion'.

Finally, there was a banging at the door and James went to let Remus in. Remus rushed in and took a seat on the floor, sending an apologetic look to everyone.

"Last night when I got back from dinner—"

I cut James off with a strategic elbow to the side. Merlin, it was my story in the first place. And also he was going to make it into an overly long tale where somehow his bravery saved the day. "There was a note pinned to the wall in the hallway, it said 'Mudbloods Don't Belong In The Prophet Nor In These Walls.'"

"Well, no mystery there, that was Death Eater work." Kate piped up from the couch.

"Yeah no kidding, if there was any doubt you could tell it was them from their atrocious grammar. I mean there's got to be a better way to word that…" A glare from James and I shut Peter up.

"As I was saying, there was a note. We alerted Dumbledore to its presence. And during our discussion with Dumbledore he revealed to us the existence of a—"

"A secret group dedicated to fighting off Voldemort." Of course Potter would get all excited and jump in just when I get to the good part. Nope, no glory for me.

"A secret group?"

"Against who now?" Emily finally looked up from her notebook and was greeted by eye rolling from everyone else in the room.

James decided to ignore Emily's intelligent comment. "It's called the Order of the Phoenix. And he invited us, and by proxy, you guys to come to a meeting."

"It's really to fight Voldemort? Like dueling and everything?" Peter was the only one to voice his concerns, but I could see that the others too were thinking of the dangers this implied.

"Keep in mind its strictly voluntary. And we probably wouldn't have to do anything dangerous." The minute the words came out of my mouth I felt sick though. It may be voluntary, but I'd be pretty damn disappointed in my friends if they didn't jump at the opportunity to fight back against a cruel wizard attempting to commit genocide against innocent people. My words had the same effect on everyone else too.

"We'll do it." Remus spoke for the group. "When is the meeting?"

Potter and I looked at each other for a quick second. "We don't exactly know yet…" I started.

"Dumbledore said he'd tell us when he knew for sure." James chimed in.

"Wow. I just, I can't process this right now." Kate leaned back on the couch letting her head spill over the top upside down and her dark hair cover her face, and revealing a small bruise on her chin.

Emily, finally fully emerged from her notebook stole a glance around the room then glared at Kate pointedly. "Kate, we really do have to get going. To work on the 'astronomy' project." Kate shot up out of her seat, and her and Emily rushed out of the room before I could even figure out what had happened.

"Well that was odd." Remus observed, moving up to occupy their spaces on the couch. His features seemed paler than yesterday; I couldn't tell if it was from an approaching full moon or just from a sleepless night last night doing homework. His robes were in their usual state of disrepair, a rip near the waist, and the hem was falling apart. Every time I offered to fix them up for him he always politely declined, saying the tattered robes 'gave him character.'

James looked at the hallway, which they'd just disappeared down for a moment, his head tilted, before turning to Sirius. "Yeah. Pads, I've been meaning to have a talk with you, care to take a walk with me?"

"Aw, Prongsy, you know I always love taking romantic strolls with you." He hopped up from the ground and bounded to the door with all the energy of a puppy. I wondered if he'd be so high spirited at the end of their 'talk'. Doubtful.

"Petey, I thought you had things to be doing?" Peter was picking at a rip on his trainers absentmindedly, he looked up and smiled sheepishly.

"Nah, I just don't like waiting."

"Pete you're such a slug."

"That I may be, but I can still kick your ass at chess." He rapped a knuckle on the coffee table with a challenging smirk.

"Your on." I rolled my eyes, Remus was abysmal at chess; I'd beat him handily the first time I ever played chess in first year. Peter got the chess set from the bookcase and started setting up.

Thirty minutes and two checkmates from Peter later James came stumbling back into the room. "How'd it go?" I asked without looking up from my book. I'd been reading a book my dad had sent me, At Swim Two Birds, in my new favorite spot near the fire while Remus and Peter had continued on in their pointless chess competition.

"It could have gone better."

"Yeah? Looks like the talking didn't go well." Remus observed, finally giving up on the game. I glanced up at James, who was sporting a black eye and a limp. Oh boys, and their 'talking.'

"Yeah, well, we won't be doing any talking again for a while. So, no worries." He collapsed into the empty chair with a scowl on his face, bringing his hand up to his face to look at his bloodied knuckles.

"Did you get him one at least?" Peter looked at James eagerly. "What? He's been annoying, as hell lately, deserves a good talking to. Especially if he thinks he can ditch out on Remus."

"James, are you even going to clean that up?" The black eye was staring at me, a breeding ground for all sorts of bacteria. He really should disinfect it.

"You sound like my mum did."

"It's going to get infections and look even worse then."

"Nice. It'll make me look even tougher then. The chicks will be all up on me." Sadly he was probably right, if he walked around the school tomorrow with a black eye he'd have legions of girls following him asking if he needed them to 'take care' of it for him. And a small part of me had to admit, he did look a little dashing with a black eye. No, wait, nevermind. No part of me had to admit anything.

"Don't be ridiculous. Let me heal it real quick."

"Lily the fixer, at it again." Peter remarked, he'd received my aid many a time throughout our Hogwarts year due to his klutzy nature.

"I don't need you to do it."

"You think you can do it? Your healing charms suck."

"Sorry mate, but she's right." Remus agreed with me and Peter nodded along.

"Come on, up to the bathroom. It'll just take a second." I grabbed his wrist and started dragging him to the stairs.

"I hate all of you." He cried out as we got to the stairwell, but followed me upstairs anyways. "Well, except you Lily, of course. You're the bestest….Best ever…Awesomest…"

"Flattery will get you nowhere James, I'm still going to heal it."

"Damn."

…………………………..

"I need a stiff drink." I slid into the barstool and rested my elbows on the table, searching around for the absent bartender. Friday evening had finally come, and all I wanted to do was forget the previous week, Head Girl responsibilities be damned.

Suddenly Emily came running over, a huge grin on her face. "Guys! Guys! I got shots!" She summoned eight shot glasses filled with bright blue liquor over to our area of the bar. Lord knows how the girl was able to get drinks when it didn't seem like anyone was working in the damn bar.

"What shall they be to?" Remus asked, as everyone grabbed his or her own drink.

"To a night that will go on the history books." With Kate's toast everyone downed the shots.

………………

thanks for reading. hopefully I should have another chapter out soon. please leave a review.


	6. Nice To Know You

I haven't felt the way I feel today

In so long it's hard for me to specify.

I'm beginning to notice how much this feels

Like a waking limb... in pins and needles,

Nice to know you, good-bye

………………………

"Lily, you, you, you know I've realized sssomething." Emily was slurring her speech, leaning against the bar and sloshing the blackbrandy in her cup all over the floor. No one was in a much better condition than her. Kate and Remus were attempting to make a house of cards out of the little sugar packets at a table, a feat they'd yet to realize was impossible due to the structural failings of sugar packets. They were trying anyways, giggling maniacally, and then nearly breaking into tears every time it fell over.

"And, what is tthat?" Ok so maybe I wasn't a whole lot better than them, but I wasn't spilling my drink. Yet. Clearly I needed another drink. I beckoned for the bartender, the cute one, to hit me with another firewhisky.

"My, my hair is just like my vagina." Didn't see that one coming. Ha, coming. Coming.

"Your vagina?" She was staring at me, her blue eyes dead serious.

"I mean, I, I put a ton of shit in it with no result."

"That's nottt true. Reremember last summer, you definitely got a 'positive' result." Teehee. Kyle was his name, I think, nice guy, if a bit slow. Well not slow, according to Em certainly not slow.

"Bitch! Don't talk about that." More brandy on the floor, and a little on her skirt.

"Well maybe if you stuck less things in it." The bartender finally delivered my firewhisky and I gave him a little smile, tall dark and handsome, mmm. "Your hair, I mean. Cause you could irreparably damage it, with, with all those products."

"God Lily, you order such mmmmannish drinks. Ffirewhisky? Yick." Emily flipped her hair and made a wave at my bartender. Bitch.

"Lets go sit with Kate and Remy, maybe we can help them out with their, little uh, uh house of cards." Best to get her as far away from more alcohol as possible. We walked over to their table, well, I walked, Emily stumbled, grabbing on to anything close and stationary to keep her balance. I slid into the booth next to Kate, Emily fell into the seat next to Remus.

"Ladies," Remus's face was bright red, a sharp contrast with his pale hair, he always got red when he was drunk, "how nice of you to jjoin us." Somehow whenever he got drunk Remus got even more polite and formal. It was always entertaining, one night last year he got so tipsy he started bowing to people, ended up curtsying to Professor McGonogall when we ran into her at the Three Broomsticks.

Kate's greeting was less pleasant. "Bitches." She nodded at us then flicked a sugar packet at Emily, who attempted to duck, but ended up nearly toppling out of the booth and Remus had to grab on to her.

"Oh shit, girls one of you is up." Remus jerked his head over to the bar where James was standing. "He's giving the SOS." I looked over and sure enough Potter was scratching his neck and flashing a peace sign. The marauders had come up with the SOS system a few years back. If they got caught in a sticky situation with a bird then they'd flash the signal and someone would come help them out.

Kate immediately dove back in to working on the house of sugar packets. "Don't look at me, I'm too busy."

"Too drunk." Emily downed the rest of her brandy.

"Too straight." Remus piped up, throwing an arm around Emily's shoulders.

I looked around desperately for Sam, finally spotting her across the dance floor, her arms draped around Sirius, that one's too preoccupied. "Fine. Fine, I'll do it. But you, you jackals owe me. Big."

I stood up and wiped the angry expression off my face, replacing it with a winning flirtatious smile. I strutted over to the bar, and despite my misgivings, slid an arm around Potter's waist and planted a quick kiss on his cheek. "Hey Jamesie." I greeted him, lazily turning around to see the girl he was talking to.

He reached an arm around me pulling me in closer, and I definitely did not enjoy the body heat emanating off of him. "Lils, this is…"

"Lauren." I didn't recognize her, must not go to Hogwarts. She was pretty, or might have been if she had worn a little less makeup and a little more clothing. Anyways she looked less than pleased to see me. Splendid, thanks to the marauders there had to be about fifty girls around Hogsmeade and London who wanted to rip my head off.

"Babe, you want to dance?" Best to get this over with as quickly as possible. I slipped my hand into his and started dragging him towards the dance floor. "Nice meeting you…Lauren." God that was deliciously bitchy. James just nodded in her direction lamely, looking relieved to be out of her clutches. I looked back to make sure that Lauren was out of sight before plopping myself down at a high table across the bar. "So how'd you end up in that situation?"

James slid into the stool opposite me. "I was being wingman for Peter. She was talking about her favorite types of nuts." He rubbed the temples of his forehead before looking out at the people dancing.

"Nuts?" I followed James's line of sight to see Sam and Sirius writhing together on the dance floor. Charming.

"Yeah, cashews are her favorite, but she's also fond of macadamias."

"Sounds like a keeper." I commented mindlessly, somehow drawn into watching the Sirius and Sam show unfolding on the dance floor. They were almost attached to each other, swaying to the music in a sensuous manner. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't the tiniest bit envious of that. With Potter always hovering it was difficult to get a date around here. "What happened to Peter?"

"He went out to 'get some air' with his girl. Left me to take the hit. Bastard."

"Don't feel too sorry for yourself Prongs, turns out she didn't want any fresh air at all." Peter snuck up from behind and pulled up a chair to the table. "We got out there and all she wanted was to bum a smoke then run off to the Three Broomsticks to meet up with her friends. Ditched me flat out." He sat down looking dejected. Out a girl and a smoke, ouch. Peter always did tend to have atrocious luck with the ladies.

"Bummer Pete. How bout I buy the next round to cheer you up?" James put up his hand to call over a bartender, throwing a few sickles at the guy for a round of Ogden's Finest.

Meanwhile Pete lamented on his poor fortune. "That's two strikeouts tonight. God what the fuck is wrong with me?"

"Nothing Peter, just a bit of bad luck. I'm sure third times the charm." I reassured him absentmindedly. Not that I didn't care about Peter, just sometimes he got overly upset about trivial things.

"Please, don't lie to the sucker," Kate approached from behind and joined us at the table, "if socks could get pregnant he would have like a catholic amount of kids." She turned to Peter to try and smirk, but her face fell into a good-natured grin. "I joke Petey." She gave him a hug and ruffled his sandy blond hair. "You'll get em next time." Kate always loved to rip on Peter, and when sober Peter was usually good for a zippy return. However, now all he could do was pout at her.

The firewhisky arrived and Peter stuck his tongue out at Kate before taking a big gulp of his drink. I sipped at mine, a bit stronger than the last one. "You ditched Emily and Remus?"

"Those nitwits are talking about quidditch." Everyone just looked at her confused; Kate loved quidditch, possibly more than Sirius and James. Would have played on the house team if she hadn't dislocated her shoulder last spring. Not really qudditch, they're discussing which mascots are cutest." I rolled my eyes, how not shocking.

"That's stupid. Obviously the harpies are cutest." Kate just glared at James. I watched as he set down his drink and leveled her with an equally serious glare. A battle of the wills. They stared at each other for a good minute as Peter and I looked on. Finally Kate puffed her cheeks out and crossed her eyes and James broke out laughing.

"You children are ridiculous." If that's not the pot calling the kettle black…"I'm off to try again, I think that's Hannah Hardy from Ravenclaw across the way. " Peter stood up and stalked off towards the bar, a lion approaching his prey.

Kate called out to him as he left, "Good luck ya pervy bastard." She turned to Potter and I, "He's gonna need it."

"You know who's not gonna need any luck tonight, Sirius." James grinned and pointed at Sirius who was dancing pretty close with Sam. One might say that they were no longer dancing and basically just sexing with clothes on, but I'm not the type of person who says such a thing. Of course at that time Sam whispered something into Sirius's ear. A twisted smile spread across his face as Sam grabbed his hand and dragged him towards the door, before they left Sirius turned and flashed a thumbs up back at our table. So subtle. Seems they were about to get to the sexing without clothes on. James nodded approvingly.

"You jackass!" Ugh, I swear the boys were so disgusting sometimes. Congratulating Sirius on getting laid when just yesterday he'd been fighting with him.

"What Lily? Tell me, what on earth did I do now to upset your royal fucking highness?" James was running a hand through his dark hair, looking about ready to start ripping it out. I ignored him however, noticing that Kate was no longer with us.

I rushed outside into the cool night air, looking around the darkened streets for my departed friend. I saw a few people smoking in the alley between The Raven and Scrivenshaft, the usual hooligans and scruff populating the streets of Hogsmeade at night. The Hogwarts kids who snuck out on weekend nights tended to go only to the Three Broomsticks or the Raven. Everywhere else, like the Hogs Head just seemed too sketchy. I remember the first time they'd dragged me out through the passageway on the fourth floor back at the beginning of last year I'd felt so sneaky, then I'd gotten to Hogsmeade and discovered half my classmates were slipping out for a night on the town too.

I turned down the street to see Kate's figure illuminated by a streetlamp. She was sitting on a picnic table outside Madam Puddifoot's. She looked up as I approached but didn't say anything, instead rummaging around in her jean pockets. I sat down on the table with her, swinging my legs back and forth, waiting for her to talk. We'd been friends for forever, she'd tell me what was up when she was ready. She pulled a bit of rolling paper and a little baggie out of her pockets and started rolling a blunt. "Don't look at me like that Lils."

"I'm not looking at you."

"Yeah you are, you're judging me. I know you, ok? I just, I need a way to unwind. To relieve some stress." She finished rolling and lit her joint with the rolling stones lighter I'd gotten her last Christmas, inhaling deeply.

"No, I get it." Everyone needs to relax sometimes, to just forget about everything. I didn't always approve of her coping methods, but then again, my drinking wasn't very safe and healthy either. I'd frowned upon the marauders for drinking, but like sucked what with school and that little war going on, and now I looked forward to getting a drink, just to enjoy some sense of normalcy. "So, whats stressing you out?"

Kate flicked at her lighter, the tiny flame illuminating the side of her face. "Man, I don't know. Life, the universe, everything." She took a drag and looked at me. I knew the feeling. "I just want to stop the world for a minute. Take a break from all the shit going on. Did you know there was an attack at that book store, Obscurus last night?" I nodded, remembering seeing it in the prophet that morning. Death Eaters had attacked the book store, torn it up, but fortunately no one had been there. "Shit like that you know? Everything's changing Lily, everything's going to shit, and it feels like there's nothing we can do about it. We're supposed to go out and join the real world in less than a year, and I don't know about you, but I sure as hell don't feel ready to be an adult."

"Kate, I don't think anyone feels ready to be an adult. I don't. But we'll figure that out when we get there." The thought of leaving Hogwarts scared the shit out of me, I didn't know what I'd do without Dumbledore's guidance.

We sat in silence for a few minutes, looking out at the forest and the lake beyond it. "You know they're closing down the Raven."

"What?" This was news to me.

"Yeah, some clothing company, Gladrags, bought the property. This whole thing, everything blows."

"How about I fix it…with some magic." It was an old joke between the two of us. First year, while everyone was gathered outside the great hall preparing to be sorted, I was freaking out because my dress robes had a rip in them (I'd been convinced that they wouldn't let me into any of the houses because there was a rip in my robes). Kate had whipped out a wand and announced that she would fix it, with magic! She'd waved it around mumbling some nonsense and only succeeded in shooting fire out of her wand, and setting the kid next to us shoes on fire (that kid had happened to be Sirius).

"Please Lily, you know there's no drunk magicking allowed." In the interest of safety the marauders and us always set a charm keeping us from being able to cast spells while intoxicated. There's nothing worse than accidentally blasting your buttocks off. "Besides you couldn't even manage fire at this point." She looked down the street and sighed. "Uh oh, we've got company."

"What, Potter?" He stopped and stood in front of us at the table, giving Kate a quick look then shrugging.

"James." He waited.

"What, James?"

"You left your wallet inside."

"Oh." I took it from his outstretched hand and slid it into my pocket. Whoops. "Thanks."

"Look, why don't you guys head back? I just need a little time alone." Kate laid down on the table stretching out.

"I see how it is, alone time." James turned to me and said in a mock whisper. "She wants time to jerk it." I tried to suppress the chuckle, I was mad at him for some reason, I'd forgotten the reason, and I didn't want to give him the satisfaction.

"Bugger off." Kate called, but there was a grin on her face.

I turned and we walked down the road in silence, the talk with Kate had put me in a melancholy mood. We got back to the Raven to discover Sirius outside smoking not one, but three cigarettes at once. He smelled like booze, sex, and smoke, which is always an alluring scent. "Yeah, that's probably healthy."

Sirius frowned at me like I was a stupid child. "Cancer isn't real!" He pointed, sloppily, to my head. "It's all in your head!"

"Pads, you've gone round the bend."

"Stuff it, Prongs." James raised his eyebrows, Sirius often got even more delusional when he was drunk. Started to believe that he was good looking, that women wanted him, and the most laughable one, that he was intelligent. "Besides, everyone needs a smoke after sex." He explained with much pride.

"You've got three." James pointed out dryly.

Sirius beamed and nodded in a cocky manner. "Yeah."

"You were only gone for 15 minutes." Sirius gave him a blank stare, clearly not understanding what James was implying. After a few beats of silence James explained. "That doesn't speak well for your endurance."

Sirius thought for a few minutes, clearly straining to do the math. When he finally figured it out the smirk fell off his face. "Hey! That's not what I meant!"

"Uh huh, sure."

"No! You've got it all wrong. I am an excellent lover! Ladies love me! I pleasure—" Delusional. His protests fell on deaf ears.

"Shut up. Have you seen Emily?" I cut off Sirius's rant, not needing to hear any more explicit details about his quality loving. He pouted a me like a toddler; clearly he'd been excited to go on about his sexual prowess.

He replied to my query lamely, dejected. "Yeah, she and Remus left about five minutes ago. Said they were gonna go back to Hogwarts and pass out." He stamped out his cigarettes on the ground, and I was ready to yell at him for polluting, but then he continued on. "Three sickles say they're going to bone."

"Deal, you idiot." I was with James on this one. Remus wasn't Emily's type, i.e. not a ridiculously good-looking asshole with a six-figure salary. Also, she kind of made it a point not to sleep with people she knew really well. "Where's your boning partner?"

"Sam?" I liked that he had to clarify, as if the only other sexual partner he had wasn't his right hand. "She went inside to talk to one of her sixth year friends, Hannah something or another."

…………………………

An hour later, we were stuck in the tunnel back to Hogwarts. Stuck because just a few moments ago Kate, who'd been leading the pack, decided to lay down on the ground and stare at the ceiling, which apparently had "constellations on it, like the night sky or something" it did not, it was a concrete passageway, but Kate was very high, and she wasn't budging. Sam, who was feeling just the slightest bit impatient, was repeatedly kicking Kate in the shin in an attempt to get her to move, but Kate was in her own world. Sirius was slumped against the wall, the excessive amount of alcohol he'd consumed catching up with him, he'd covered his eyes with his hands complaining about the bright lights. James was playing with the snitch he always kept in his pocket, bored, but entertained for the moment. Even drunk he was somehow miraculously coordinated. I was feeling rather impatient to get home myself, but somehow I'd been deemed the most sober. And in what I thought was a considerably unfair game of rock paper scissors I'd won the enviable job of trying to convince her to move.

"Kate…why don't you stand up? Then we can go outside, and you can see real constellations." I tried lightly cajoling her, not really expecting it to work.

"I can see, for miles, for forever…like I can see into the future…"

"Mmhmm. And what do you see in the future?" Might as well mine that one, see if she can "see" anything interesting in the future.

"The future?" Sam stopped kicking her for long enough to shoot me a quizzical look. I shrugged. Nothing else seemed to be working.

"Yeah, everyone's dead. And its sunny out." Ok, a little too far into the future.

"I give up, James, Sirius, grab her. Lets get out of here." The boys executed plan B, picking her up and dragging her out, and soon we were on our way again.

………………….

"Morning."

"Morning." Sam shook out her legs and cracked her neck. "How you feeling?"

I stretched my legs. "Been better. How were things up in the girls dorm?"

We stepped out the door of the great hall and start at a slow jog. "Well, Emily never returned, I think I saw her passed out in the common room."

We passed by Hagrid's hut and went by our normal route by the Forbidden Forest. "No surprises there."

"Kate got back and started drinking the expired grape juice she found under her bed. She was convinced it had fermented into wine. I think the boys are all still alive. I think I talked Peter in enough with Hannah, so hopefully he got lucky. James still alive?"

"Regretfully so. Ready?"

"Yeah." We picked up the pace for the lap around the lake, going too fast for talking.

An hour later I trudged back into the Head's common room, sore and sweaty. I noticed a note on our announcement board: Order meeting at 4, meet in Dumbledore's office. I was about ready to drag myself upstairs for a shower when I saw James passed out on the couch, asleep. He'd clearly just gotten back from quidditch practice, his gear was strewn around the room, and his black hair was still damp with sweat. More interestingly though, he'd stripped off his shirt before passing out, revealing the muscular frame that years of quidditch will do for you. Not bad, not bad at all.

No, Lily. Very bad. I shook my head, and walked up the stairs to the bathroom, trying to convince myself that I had not just been ogling James Potter.

………………….

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